Survival

I would like to stay anonymous as I share this heartbreaking story about my very last time in an NYC homeless shelter. It was the middle of the night and I heard some shuffling around me. I was very tired so I just put my pillow over my head and tried to go back to bed. A few moments later the sound was closer, louder, and it sounded like my things! This time I removed my pillow from my head and my sheet from my body; I sprang up from the bed and saw two men at the side of my bed going through my garbage bag of things. I didn’t have much time to think and it was so dark. I grabbed the first guy I could and I started to yell to get the attention of nearby authorities. I heard feet shuffling, some people waking up, and others getting out their beds. The lights randomly turned on and I was blinded momentarily. When I regained my vision, I looked I was on top of a young man and the other “man” appeared to be his sister. It seemed that they were stealing things just to survive. The administrator and guards weren’t far away, I could see them coming down the hall. I looked around more people began surrounding the three of us and my things. I didn’t know what to do next, so I got off the young man and said “what the fuck? Why are you trying to steal my shit?” He replied, “ sorry man, need money it’s either you don’t have a pair of shoes or my sister and I don’t eat tomorrow.” I was shocked. I kind of felt guilty for standing up for myself. I looked up again and the administrator and guards were less than 100 feet away. I thought back to when I first became homeless and how desperate I was for necessities. I also began to remember my first day at this shelter and how the first thing the administrator told everyone was violence and theft are not tolerated and anyone guilty of these acts would be forced to leave immediately and banned for good. I looked back up and they were working their way through the crowd. I had made up my mind. I was tired of the shelter and needed a change of scenery anyway. They came and I stood up and said: “This little shit was looking at my shit the wrong way, I had to let him know I ain’t no punk.” The security guards began to approach me and I said: “don’t worry I know the drill, I’m gone, man.” I grabbed my garbage bag and walked out. As I walked out, I looked around the place one last time. A huge white hall with rows and rows of bunk beds. On either side of the bed, there are garbage bags stacked on top of each other. In each bed: a man, woman, or child. Some beds were empty because children would sleep in the same bed with their parents. It smelled like bleach because a custodian would mop twice a day with tons of the stuff; once in the morning and once at night. I got to the door, it had a flickering exit sign. I pushed it opened and never turned back. A few tears shed because I didn’t know what I would do in the middle of the night in NYC but man I did right by those kids and I still had my stuff anyway!

Monsters

The sight of the sky changing from light blue to midnight blue. Watching the cars speed and people walk. The world was so beautiful. All of it beautiful until the demons came. Those demons? the police. One day I was at the train station sleeping. I know I’m not supposed to but what more can I do? Two cops came up to me and told me I had to leave immediately. I was scared. But not because of the cops right in front of me threaten to arrest me. No. I was scared of the thought of where I would have to go now. I know I would be subjected to a shelter, might as well be a prison. I’ve heard the stories of those places. People always robbed and beaten. Discriminated and mistreated. Why would I want to go there when I can stay in the outside world. Yes, I’m aware it’s dangerous out here but how dangerous compared to there. After I left the station, I didn’t listen to the police, I didn’t go there because there isn’t home. It’s just the governments’ money grab on my unfortunate circumstances. The governments’ true intentions aren’t to help, they just want the fame and the money. I would never support such. I rather risk my life in this beautiful outside world where I don’t know if I’ll wake up or not then wake up there. Instead of the government trying to shove people like me onto shelters they should try and fix their system.

What happens?

A percentage of the homeless choose to stay on the streets. But what happens to them when they do that? Society demonizes them, mocks them and tries to get them out of the streets. When they are out these streets, what happens then? They go into shelters where violence blossoms, rights are violated, and prejudice is present. It seems wherever the homeless go they face immoral circumstances and this isn’t all right. These “homeless” people are persons too and just like individuals who aren’t homeless, their autonomy should be respected just as such. We as a society need to stop treating each other as lesser as we are equal. Every day I walk down the street I see people verbally abusing these people who have nothing to their name. Many of these cases it’s not their fault they are in a situation that they are in. The government needs to stop trying to force these people into shelters where life just gets harder. Instead of the government sending thee ppl into the hell holes that are homeless shelters, they need to reform them and make them better. They need to rid these places of their capitalized mentalities and do it for the greater good which is the well being of persons. Rid these places of the violence, the discomforts, the prejudice, the usefulness. Then finally we will see what happens to the homeless.

Don’t get too close

Growing up I was always told to stay away from those “people” as they where the disgraces of society or they’re too dangerous to be around. I never really questioned these sayings so I just internalized it. My whole life whenever someone who even looked to be “homeless” I would look the other way or just move entirely. Society taught me that these people are not to be engaged but I never truly asked myself why. Every day I would watch these immoral acts towards the homeless and I did not question a thing. They just deserved it for being homeless. In my freshman year of college, I was allowed to answer my why question. Picture the homeless is an organization who is run by the homeless who advocate for reform for the homeless. During our session, the advocators explained how society portrays the homeless and the truth about being homeless. The sterpty[es, the dehumanizing acts done to them. All this just because they are seen as below. After getting exposed to the real side of homeless that leave me alone that was installed in my head was gone. All these years I said their people were nothing, they were outcasts to society because that’s what society taught me. Ever since that day, I’m no longer one of those individuals who just sit by watching the homeless be subjected to society and their false beliefs. No longer will I saw leave me alone, No. I am the person who will say here and lets come together to better lives. We’re all humans in this world and no one is better than anyone. We cannot have these stereotypes of the homeless just because they are not as well of as the rest. These beliefs were installed into me as a child. Imagine the whole world having these installations.